A few weeks ago I had a dream that it was my last day on earth ~ and I was really happy! Of course I was concerned about upsetting the people that mean the most to me, but I wanted to go. It was so real and I was disappointed when I woke up.
In my dream, the hardest person to tell was my husband, David, because he has already lost one wife (who just happened to be my best friend) so I was with him through the daily heartache he experienced. Through tears, he was begging me not to leave him. With a peaceful spirit, I reassured him that everything would be ok. He wanted to come with me but we both knew he couldn’t. He asked me why I wanted to leave him and I told him that I didn’t want to leave him, but God was calling me. I remember telling him that I was excited not to be in pain anymore and that my heart was full.
All of my loved ones were with me except two of my children, Emily and Thomas. I tried so hard to find them ~ searching frantically. Finally, I decided to write them a goodbye letter on this huge chalkboard that suddenly appeared in our front yard. Staring blankly at the chalkboard, gathering my last thoughts for my daughter and son, I soon realized that the only thing I needed to say was that I loved them, and this they already knew. Besides, any words I wrote would be washed away by the rain so I was probably wasting my time. Then I noticed a nice double stroller across the street with a for sale sign on it. I walked over to the woman beside the stroller and handed her one of my business cards asking her if it didn’t sell she could donate it to this place.
Next I remember my guardian angel walking with me to the top of a mountain where I would take my final step from earth and enter paradise. When we reached the top, I was stricken by the beauty and magnificence of what was before me. As far as my eyes could see there were the most amazing colors – colors I had never seen before ~ indescribable and glorious! My angel told me they were the colors of truth, peace, love and joy. I was looking for my mother and I couldn’t imagine how I would find her in the magnitude of color.
At this time, breathing in the beauty of heaven, I saw myself from the back. With my angel by my side, I was eagerly anticipating my next step. I was wearing Levi jeans, a brown sweater, tan cowboy boots, my hair was long and light brown, and I was skinny!
And then I woke up – in pain, and I cried – out loud.
My reason for sharing this dream with you is to emphasize that we are all just a step away, that every step counts, and that the details matter! We need to stop wasting our time on insignificant, non-essential nonsense and learn to trust God for our joy and peace. And we need to love each other, and then we need to love each other bigger!
Sweet dreams ~ Kathy